hey there, i have an 8 year old son who is gifted. i try and do all that i can for him and sometimes its just very hard. his teacher also does not help the situation. i think she might have it in for my son. he questions her a lot when she does things and his teacher said that he is to inquisitive. Along with his gift, he also has really emotional issues, he has anger outbursts, he breaks down a lot, he does not sleep very well (he is currently on medication for his sleep deprivation). i have lost a lot of friends because they do not understand what kind of child my son is and why im the kind of parent i am to him, i try not to use the word gifted in front of people as it seems to push them away. he keeps a diary of his emotions and is at counseling for depression and an anxiety disorder. He does not seem to have many friends at school and im wondering if its because the other children do no understand. i just am really hoping to find some parents on here to talk to because me and my husband are at a loss as how to help him. he is such an amazing kid, just seems like the world is against him sometimes.
please help
I think my son could easily have ended up this way if I had left him in the system, we took him out. My 9 year old certainly questions a lot, he has been doing since he started talking! I guess that can be difficult for a teacher with a whole class of children. Is it possible you could relate to this article? If you do it could well help you all feel a bit better. http://www.grcne.com/divergent-thinker.html
The gifted word can be hard for people, because it sounds so broad and there are gifted sports people and gifted dancers. Intellectual giftedness is different, there is all the emotions, all of the sensitivities, all of the inner frustration, inner turmoil all of the misunderstanding. I feel for you and you son, it is hard growing up in a world where if feels like no one understands. I think we have been there - but things improved for us because we left the "system" that made it hard (actually not by choice initially, but that is a whole other story).
i'm not sure wht part of NZ you are in but maybe there is an Explorers group near you. You can look on this NZAGC home page to find a link to groups.
It definitely helps to be able to meet other parents with similar issues and to see that your child is not different when mixing with this group of children.
Hello Ashleah, Hang on in there. Your son is really lucky to have a Mum who appreciates him and calls him amazing. It might help to remember how artificial the social environment at school is - only a few personality types thrive there. Most children are just learning coping strategies that might or might not serve them well when they're older. I love to read books set in a different time and place, and mull on how the same child would have such a different experience there. For example, I was wowed recently when I re-read "Little Women" and realised how respectful that mother was of her different daughters' needs. And now I'm reading the Little House on the Prairie series and laughing to myself about how Laura Ingalls didn't need to spend 6 hours a day doing all the boring comprehension exercises and reading tests and writing exercises from the age of 5 - she only started to learn to read when she was about 8, and then school was only a sometimes thing - yet she went on to become a successful author.
When my son was at school I tried to take school with a grain of salt, and took him out whenever he needed time to himself or there was something more interesting to do. I certainly didn't make him do the boring homework and let the school dictate the rest of our life as well. This does run the risk of not "supporting the school" so an attitude could develop, but if you're careful about always talking positively about the school, it can work. (When you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all, and the child doesn't have something negative to mull over.)
A different teacher next year might turn things around for him. And ODS and homeschooling are both good options.
But the most important thing I would concentrate on is being positive yourself, supporting any friendships that support your son, which may be with children of different ages or with adults, and continuing to show him how special he is to you.
Good luck, trust your instincts and remember that you're doing the most important job of all. Sound like you're doing it very well, too!
You don't have to deal with this situation alone, and sometimes you can get so close to it that it is hard to see the wood for trees and how to get out of the forest.
Have you thought about consulting someone to get some perspective and assistance? your DHB will have a service for parnets whose children are having emotional and anger difficulties - and he wouldn't be the first gifted child who needed some help, so consider asking your GP for a referral to child mental health services [government paid for], or ask the school for a referral to the RTLB Service [also governement paid for] or finally you could consult a child psychologist in your area [private and will cost in the region of $150/hr].
