Their child to wear "dress ups" to school ..... I notice that the girls at school seem to wear tu-tu's and the like and all sorts of gear that would really be classed as dress-up but the boys well it appears they just dont.
Oh and the reason I am asking is because I managed to find a pair of spiderman onesies (pjs) that should be big enough for my grandson (his birthday is coming up) and I am very much anticipating that he will decide that he MUST wear them to school (along with his spiderman mask) just because he "IS Spiderman actually" (Lol you should have seen his face when his teacher tried to tell him he is only pretending to be Spiderman).
And my response will be "Sure why not " - because it really is his decision to make (and thus far being a little "different" has worked for him in a positive way) but I thought it quite curious that you rarely see that type of thing amongst the boys
I say go for it...
If it is ok for girls to go to school dressed as fairies etc boys should also be able to go however they please. Have seen boys at kindy dressed up but the school my children attend have a uniform so there is no choice as to what they put on in the morning..
Yeah thats what I was thinking - if its ok for girls (and it is) then boys ought to be able to as well. Of course it may well be the case that boys just dont ordinarily WANT to.
I doubt very much he will get a hard time - and they are kids for such a short time.
I'm with Meand3 if its good for the girls then its good for the boys (a personal peave that I have, having grown up with a twin brother who was often allowed to do things I wasn't!!!). My ds also has a uniform so we haven't had this issue at school. My sister who is a teacher of new entrants and has her own young children at the school she teaches at loves that her school has no uniform because the kids can truly show their personality in what they wear, therefore as a teacher I'm sure she wouldn't mind boys in dress up as well.
My interest in this quesion goes beyond wearing spiderman outfits to school to why are boys so obsessed with spiderman and identify with the likes of spiderman. My ds went through this phase and most certainly wore his spiderman outfit to kindy and everywhere else we went. I have also watched my younger nephews go through the same phase. Yet what baffles me is that in his childhood prior to becoming OBSESSED with spiderman, is that he had never seen spiderman, not watched the movies (too young) or seen it on TV, so I would love your insight into where you think these obsessions come from :)
I have a spiderman obsessed 5yr old who has recently started school. He wore his spiderman costume top once with no trouble.
Marshe, it also intrigues me. We bought him the costume when his obsession begun but he had never seen spiderman.
He did go to a pre-school that did all sorts of super hero play so I'm assuming it's from there.
It is indeed an interesting question isnt it - C also hadnt seen Spiderman - but he couldnt have picked a superhero more similar to himself.
In terms of GT/VS kids generally - they tend to need far less information to be able to develop a deep conceptual understanding .... many people see that in connection to more conventional intellectual concepts but tend not to recognise it so much in terms of every day real life.
Similarities and Differences (and remember that someone can be VERY strong in this area but not necessarily test as such because of some aspect of it being verbally assessed) - matrix reasoning and comprehension are all areas that can be drawn upon to "fill in the gaps" with incredible accuracy and a level of understand that can blow an observer away. Even their "symbol" (eg Bat, Spider, Cat) provides quite a lot of information about the superhero character.
More of the traditonal superheroes in particular are "ordinary gifted humans" with ordinary human frailties that the gifted are not immune to. Their costumes hold not "magical powers" but rather - allow them to be "exceptional" with their true identity being protected.
Sound familiar?
My grandson has an exceptional memory - and remembers in intricate detail ... I have absolutely no doubt at all that his visual memory is exceptionally well developed - so would readily be able to assimilate any information that could be visualised that he has been privy to over his lifetime - as surely as if he had seen it himself.
So conceptually it isnt too difficult to see how they would develop their own interpretation of the character ..... the obsession aspect well - thats not so hard to understand either.
When you take on a character, it is quite a powerful transformation - costumes assist that transformation and act as a barrier against the "external world" ..... looking back, there was a huge difference in my emotional/psychological experience of playing the role of Puck compared to when playing Christopher Robin.
Even ones biochemistry is altered by role playing.
Prior to his starting to wear a mask to school, my grandson would routinely spend his times running laps around the playground .... not because he has an issue with socialising - but rather sensory overload ..... put a mask on him and suddenly he becomes Spiderman who is one of the more gentle superheroes and he can interact with ease in the midst of the playground chaos. I suspect this is part of the appeal of "superheroes and dressing up" amongst adult "geeks" (or is that nerds? I forget which is which now).
For kids who WANT to socialise but find the sensory aspect overwhelming - adopting a persona can be a very powerful tool .... over and above the natural emulating of a "role model" whose characteristics they admire.
I did draw the line at my grandson actually attempting to be bitten by a spider .... they get pretty big around these parts and I should imagine would be capable of obliging him well and truly! He wanted to shoot REAL web so he figured that was the way to go about it .... I told him it couldnt have been just any ordinary spider that would have that affect and must have been mutated in some nuclear accident or similar to have had that result (saves having to answer that question later LOL) - which seems to have done the trick.
The human superhero characters have been pretty well developed and their superhero persona reflects who they are in "everyday life" with some of their insecurities stripped away thanks to their clothing ( which is actually pretty normal - but like most GTs - our human superheroes do it to the extreme). Because GT kids are more likely to identify with the characters and the morals etc - they are more likely to imitate to a greater degree than "normal".
If I had a sewing machine I would be taking a different approach and creating the character around him so it would be easier for him to recognise that he actually HAS the traits and attributes himself - but its all good - they are young for such a short time and at the end of the day, for now at least, Spidey is to C what Tinkerbelle was to Peter Pan so its all good.
That's definitely an interesting way to look at it and I think of my nephew that was more obsessed than the others he is very very visual - we hadn't thought of him as gifted because he's not academic like some of his cousins - but incredibly artistic.
Its funny how we still associate giftedness with academics even when we know better aye. But knowing and seeing are not one in the same.
I would be surprised if my grandson would even test as "in the gifted range" on a psychometric evaluation - dont doubt that he is for one moment.
I would trust my senses to "sense" a VS/GT child before I would trust my "learning".
Our senses are not limited to the "scientific research" that is dependent upon gifted children being identified as gifted in order to describe and discuss them.
Definately would let him wear it to school - I always let my daughter wear whatever she liked to school. When she was about 10 years old she drew a page of different (mainly dress up) outfits and wrote on it "Outfits for school - so I don't ever look like everyone else". I thought that was an interesting decision because it is about the age where all the other girls wanted to buy clothes from the "in" shops and basically all looked the same.
She also used to always wear a tail or ears whenever we went to town even when she was 9 or 10. One day we were at McDonalds having lunch and I saw another child the same age wearing cat ears. I was just thinking how strange it was as I have never seen anyone else her age dressing up when he turned around and it was a boy from One Day School!
At 13 years old she is still happy to wear cat ears in public and is desperate to make a realistic mermaid tale. One of her friends asked "What will people think?" in relation to her wearing a mermaid tail in public (at the pool I presume) but my daughter couldn't understand what she meant because what other people think means nothing to her (in both a good and bad way).
So, just curious here, how would you characterise a VS child?
I have slight suspicions that my eldest boy is VS - he was obsessed with screens, books, etc, cared not a jot what anyone else thought of him, did very poorly at school (but scored very highly on SAT tests) and maintained obsessions right through to being an adult (I suspected Aspergers for a while but he really didn't fit the mould as he's grown to be quite empathetic - the emotional side of his development was just quite delayed)
I myself am quite visual - need stuff written down to "get" it, and have a major noun recall problem - I can visualise the object, describe it in detail but not remember the name (can't visualise people though, go figure). I don't think I'm VS though as other people I know who say they are VS are able to always know which way is north, or read maps and visualise 3D objects, all of which I'm terrible at.
Just very curious as the whole dressing up and going to school thing is something my eldest would have done often. He suffered terribly from being bullied and dressing up probably didn't help him poor sod.
VS is something I really haven't managed to get my head around and I wonder what percentage of the population is VS without any idea that they are and how much knowing would help them?
One of the major difficulties with .... errrrr ..... "older VS people" is that most have been quite comprehensively "trained against" their way of processing.
Plus, we do not standardise VS learning so VS individuals come up with their own "internal language of the mind".
People are "3d objects" - a chair is a 3d object .... visualising a child running around in Spiderman onesies at school is "visualising 3d objects".
But one of the things about VS is that words tend to be "interpreted" with greater individuality although there are some trends.
For me when someone refers to "visualising 3d objects" (and mental rotation of 3d imagery) it always causes me to visualise a MALE who is visualising a 3d geometric shape .... which is actually related to mathematical inclination in the area of geometry. I dont regard people as "objects" so I dont relate that to being what people are referring to.
I dont read maps - and maps arent spatial anyway. Which way is North? Hmmmm give me a few minutes to visualise where the sun rises and sets (now THAT I can see) and try and remember which is which and I MIGHT be able to figure out where North is ..... maybe.
I would say that by far the vast majority of individuals who are Visual Spatial dont know they are - they tend to perceive themselves as having "fundamentally normal" internal processing and maybe just "use what they have a bit more or a bit differently".
Upon analysis I have concluded that its actually much easier to be gifted if you are VS ..... the brain doesnt need to work near as hard ( the brain is wired for more holistic processing and is faster and more powerful as a matter of course) which is why it is so prevalent in the GT population. Perhaps it is even a form of giftedness in its own right (which would blow stats right out of the water).
I personally disagree with the notion that VS is a "learning style" in the sense of VS being "how one draws information from the environment in order to learn" - I have found no such pattern in VS individuals .... their preferred "learning styles" are as varied as anyone elses. The only real "constant" I have found is that their "internal processing" is visual rather than auditory and 3dimensional. Many find drawings/illustrations/pictures to be a barrier to learning because the illustrations are (a) 2d and (b) actually inhibit their ability to visualise.
Many are brilliant writers, avid readers (particularly of novels), highly organised (if they develop their own system .... I "flow from task to task" rather than trying to stick to a time based schedule .... my father who is definitely VS rigidly adheres to the clock and doesnt cope so well when his schedule is disrupted).
Well...just to go against the grain, and not to say that you are wrong at all for allowing it, but I would NOT let my son wear spiderman onsies to school. He has a rough enough time trying to fit in, and while it would be awesome to not give in to societal expectations etc, I am too protective of my little 5 year old for him to be the one to stand up and do it. I am jealous of some of the schools you guys go to! At my sons school, unless you were that massively popular kid who can start a trend (you know the ones!) you would be eaten alive in a onsie! Also, he is painfully aware of trying to fit in, and being different, he wouldn't choose to wear something like that to school. Hope your grandson had/has a happy brithday:)
I'm with you anon - I doubt I would let mine either if I thought it would result in ridicule. It's great to have a problem with societal expectations and to be one who wants to work against it and change it. But IMO there is a time and place for that. And, allowing my kids to be in a social situation where they are going to catch crap just for me to take an idealistic stance or to be that wonderful parent who allows and encourages it my kid to go to school in a dress-up .... nope, not going to happen.
When they're old enough, they can choose to go down that route, or if we were very confident the kids wouldn't respond negatively, then sure, but, right now fitting in is what they want.
It's a hard balance for sure. All parents - gifted kids, VS, 2e, neurotypical, etc - want the world to respect their child's individuality. And we sometimes cringe when we see them put into little boxes and moulded to become like everyone else. But at the end of the day belonging to a group is a fundamental human need and sometimes our kids have a hard enough time meeting that need as it is.
Of course all our families and circumstances are different so that would influence our choices. In my case, having had my daughter experience all manner of "negative responses to her differences" from a very early age, I have gone to quite some lengths to ensure my grandson wasn't subject to the same. Starting out with in-home ECE, only putting him into kindy (small private) only when he was older and otherwise selecting environments for their "acceptance" factor - becoming progressively less protective as he ages.
I am still selective and he has been doing fine socially even though he has been known to wear some rather .... errrrrrrm ..... interesting choices of attire. Like a spiderman top waaaaaay too small with spiderman boxers we picked up at the op shop that are waaaaaay too big!
I have noticed that he seems to be well liked by some of the much older boys in particular - because apparently hes "cool" LOL and the school has a very strong "community" focus where the older children "look after / watch out for" the younger ones - and it is readily observable that the older kids really "live up to" expectation in that regard.
So, whilst he may not be "uber popular" per se - it is likely that his relationship with the older boys affords him a degree of "status" and therefore less vulnerable. In addition he is less sensitive to "not fitting" because it isnt something he has been exposed to - unlike his mum.
I personally do not believe that "belonging to a group" requires "being moulded to become like everyone else" - it is my own personal opinion that the can actually just highlight the fact one does not belong because one is accepted upon the basis of something other than who one is - and often the opportunity to be accepted for who one actually is is lost in the process.
That is not a criticism at all .... just my own personal perspective on that aspect of the topic.
