Date: 05-01-11 11:43
Interesting subject for us at the moment.
At the end of term I decided to re-book ds8 into the shrink for re-assessment and to see if she could address some of the 'social issues' we were dealing with. Nothing major, no significant melt-down's - school even commented that he was 'maturing' well, but he's been in trouble twice for using the F word and still struggles to pick up social cues from the other kids. Saying that, he is being very subtely bullied by them so I kinda give him credance for being able to hold his own with them, they are mostly are year plus older than him and seem to enjoy keeping him in his place with lots of put downs.
Anyway - school holidays, 3 weeks in and now we have the perfect little angel on our hands! No other kids to compete, socialise etc with, no learning, very few social engagements compared to previous years, lots of sleep and suddenly his manners have returned (but even better), no arguments - does exactly what I ask when I ask it. Is helpful and proactive, also giving out lots of cuddles.
I have let him do just exactly what he wants all day with the exception of getting out for some exercise at least once and the period of complete de-stress seems to be really helping. (I did make a conscious decision to make this holiday completely stress free for him as I was worried about him at the end of term).
We went out to dinner last night and it was bliss, he ate without fuss used all his manners and when he'd finished took himself off to the couches and read his book while we finished our meal. We are still reeling :)
Sometimes I think that the pressure of trying to conform to the social norm is just too much for these kids because at the end of the day they aren't the norm and it spills over into all sorts of frustrations for them.
I have high hopes for this school year but if I see his behaviour revert after what we've just experienced in the last few weeks I may seriously consider home-schooling him.
All the best to everyone - it sure is tough!