Date: 04-01-11 22:32
Maybe my family is normal after all. I sympathise with you all. Meand3, you'll get through it. Wish I could help. Best help I can think of is "Unconditional Parenting", which I found fantastic because it reminded me to just love my sons for who they are and not who society expects them to be. I've had a much more critical eye for each parenting book since reading this one, as it really show up the myths for what they are. Di, I highly recommend this one to you.
Di, Ten is an interesting age. Our son is ten and a half, and this year has been challenging. Only yesterday I heard that puberty often starts at ten in boys. It isn't recognised as such because the boys don't grow taller then. Apparently the testosterone is the first wave, and the later growth spurt in boys is due to the hormones produced as the testosterone decomposes (is that the right word?). Whereas girls have their growth spurt at the start of their puberty hormones, so if puberty starts at ten for them, it is recognised.
Most interestingly, an effect of the testosterone is that when angry, the typical behaviour at this age is verbal aggression. So this may be why the outbursts seem to be getting worse not better. (And if not, you may have worse to come).
Apparently lots of exercise is very beneficial. In fact, lots of exercise even delays puberty.
I'm trying with my son to just show in every way that I approve of him and his judgment and to overlook the things I think are socially pathetic. I remember my Mum did this for me and I felt so loyal to her for it.
Good luck, I sincerely hope no future teacher makes a similar comment. It's the sort of comment that'll have the opposite effect to that intended, in most children. It would've made me want to stay at home when I was that age, and wallow in self-criticism.
Best wishes, Heidi