My darling 5 year old DJ was assessed last year and we are both very happy with the outcome of gifted with Aspergers traits as well. She has settled brilliantly at school and we seem to have a great teacher (so far!!!) so mentally,socially,emotionally we are doing ok. (I must say this is a huge relief to me).
Anyway, my issues I wanted to throw out there today are about physical development associated with above diagnosis. My daughter toilet trained late at 3 1/2 and we are showing NO signs of being dry at night. I am at all stressed about this but wonder sometimes whether I could be doing anything to help things along. Like most gifted kids, she takes at least an hour to go to sleep then sleeps like a rock for 11 hours. If she gets disturbed during the night she takes another hour to settle again so I am totally reluctant to be getting her up in the night. Any thoughts????
I also have another issue which is my girl has underarm body odour. Again we manage it but I do wonder, does this mean early puberty?? She has had since she was about 3. Has anyone else had this? Is it related to her diagnosis???
Thanks for your opinions.
Children differ in the ages at which they are dry at night. My gifted son was toilet trained around 3 yrs but was not dry at night until almost 8. Of his two sisters, one was trained around 2 and night-dry by 3, the other toilet trained at 3 and night-dry by 6. Physical development may well be out of kilter with intellectual development with gifted children, part of the whole asynchronous development.
CAn't help with the underarm odour issue, but one of my girls developed extraordinarly greasy hair at around 9 years of age - to the point that the hairdresser who cut her hair commented she had never seen such a 'bad case' (not diplomatically either, as she said it in front of my daughter!) and my dd was distinctly unpleasant to stand beside if she hadn't washed her hair that morning. (She, of course, hated washing her hair!) The over-production of oil is apparently a pre-puberty thing. She did go through puberty early, around age 11.
My 8 year old DD is not yet reliably dry at night. She went for long stretches during the holidays when she was dry (10+nights) but once school and after-school activities started she went back to 2-3 dry nights a week. My hubby and I were both bedwetters as kids and statistically any off-spring have something like a 75% chance of having the same problem.
We have an electronic wireless alarm, but decided that the disruption to her (and our) sleep was not worth it at the stage we tried it. (You need to be disciplined about following the procedure that goes with the alarm). Fatigue management is really important for this child (or her behaviour goes to custard) so we abandoned the alarm, and went back to disposable pull-up things. We might try the alarm again in the holidays.
Our other gifted child was dry at night pretty much at the same time she came out of nappies and has never had a wet night since.
Can't help with the underarm issue sorry. I'd be inclined to check that out with your GP I think.
I hope you've mentioned the perspiration problem to DJ's doctor and they've ruled out a thyroid issue.
On the other point. My HG DS was dry at night at 3 1/2 but my unassessed DD is not at over 4yo so I don't think there's much rhyme or reason to it. If it's only a night thing it's pretty easy to take a 'wait and see' approach (except of course, the cost of nappies and getting ones to fit the sturdy child -mine!).
Hi, I wouldn't worry unduly, a female family member was still having the occasional night-time accident at 10. she was a very intense child and when I became aware of "giftedness" because of my own children, she seemed like a good fit to me. When she did finally pass out for the night she slept so deeply that it would have taken a bulldozer to wake her up and the signals from the bladder just didn't seem to arrive at her sleeping brain. For the record, she is now in her twenties and as far as I know, is dry at night! Also passing all her subjects at uni. So unless there is some other concern? I agree with the other posters re the underarm issue, it seems unusual for a 5 year old. Great that school is going so well though!
re the bedwetting:
My son was toilet trained at "usual age" about two and a half- 3 years but he was wet nearly every night till age 6. Then we decided to try the alarm thing, and I was slightly daunted by it, thought it would be a huge hassle etc. But you know,we weren't that exact about it and it worked like an absolute charm. In a short space of time, maybe two weeks or so, he was completely dry, and has probably only had a couple of accidents since, and that was about 18 months ago. So, if you wanted to try the alarm I don't think you have much to lose.
My daughter was dry about 3 and a half at night, but she has occasional lapses, I think sometimes linked to urinary irritation. I will try her on the alarm once she's 6 or so if she isn't reliably dry by then(they don't recommend using it on younger kids as most outgrow bed wetting on their own, apparently)
Re bedwetting, if you are doing all the drinking during the day, cutting down or out at night and she is still wet it is not the right time yet. My ds is almost 10 and day has been ok since 2 but night not yet. He'll get there...
Re the underarm, a swab will probably be useful too. There can be some interesting bacteria that develop in warm places and some are certainly smelly.
I have 2 2E (gifted and Aspergers) boys, and have just got them dry at 11 and 17 using the alarm system. It was a miracle. I would reccomend this to anyone to have a go, don't let it go until17!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYI I also have soiling issues, which they say means they are not ready to try for dry...I tried anyway, and my 17yo was dry pretty much straight off. Although he still has some daytime soiling issues, it actually helped this too. If you want to know more, I have recently had an article printed about it in the Autism NZ Auckland branch newsletter
I admittedly haven't really done my homework or read around the topic of physical milestones and giftedness but would be interested in feedback on what is 'typical'.
My husband and I find it incredibly frustrating that our son doesn't seem to want/be interested in/be able to do what we consider quite easly physical tasks. He is 3yrs 3mths and not toilet trained. We know he can do it because he had a burst of 4 days where he was really into it with no accidents then he totally lost interests and all or out inducements/bribes begain to fail eg. TV, jellybeans. So, back in nappies.
Aside from that, we seem to have to really push him to try and do even the smallest of tasks that I know his peers are doing eg. opening his water bottle, taking lids off his pens or lunch containers, peeling a banana. It becoms a real drama but we try to get him to do as much for himself as possible. He isn't overly confident on the playground either but is becoming more so with age. We thought that perhaps in the past we did too much for him and that was why he wasn't doing things for himself now and had a few comments in the past from his old daycare that he wasn't as independent as his peers.
He is so capable in other areas i.e. can read 5yr old readers and is obssessed with maths. Is this typical for 'giftedness' or have we just catered to his whims too much?
We were told our dyspraxic, gifted son had Asperger's traits, possibly Asperger's syndrome. On his eighth birthday he was still not dry at night and we (his parents) had become really stressed about it thinking he would be one of the very tiny number of adults who wets the bed, especially as there was no family history there at all. We were so worried for him.
Then our occupational therapist pointed out that with sensory overload being an issue due to the Aspergers and also low muscle tone due to the dyspraxia, he would be almost certain to be a very deep sleeper (which of course we knew to be true) with a weak muscle controlling his bladder, both of which add up to bedwetting.
We decided to start lifting him around 11pm and taking him to the toilet (although he never woke up but usually produced something) which we had given up a couple of years earlier due to no progress. (It did help to know that he usually wet around 11pm, so we had a good starting point). After a couple of weeks, he started being dry after 11 as long as we had managed to get him to wee when we lifted him. Then we decided the trick was to lift him 15 minutes earlier each week, gradually stretching the period of time he could stay dry until EVENTUALLY it was the entire night. We had worried that getting him to wee while still sound asleep would actually be counterproductive, training him to wee in his sleep rather than wake up, but those fears turned out to be unfounded. Suddenly we had success and there has been no turning back. Maybe it was the right time, who knows.
There are also exercises an OT can prescribe that strengthen the muscles, which was the next thing we were going to try. A friend of mine had success with hypnotherapy but it was very expensive and there are a lot of quacks in that field.
The wetting thing is very complex and related to many factors. After many discussions with a urologist, he said something that stuck in my brain. The most important physical factor is the urine concentrating hormone that our bodies develop. 100% of newborns don't have it and 99% of 15 year olds do, and there is little you can do about it.
My 14 year old (bright, not tested - but so similar to everything I have just read on here OMG!) daughter, has just stopped wetting at night. She was very slow in her physical development, but started talking at 7 months. My 12 year old, undiagnosed but definatley hardwork, bright borderline Aspie with Type One Diabetes, squint, and auditory processing disorder was dry very early on. She had a test done when she was nearly four, was biting and aggressive. 130 IQ, but the lady said that was as high as she could test. Very uneven development.
My son - who is driving me to distraction - has just toilet trained himself at 19months. However he doesn't have the physical skills to manage his own clothing??
Am new to this site and am nodding my head so very much to what I am reading. Son 20 months now, never slept, due partially to reflux and dairy intolerance. Could read some numerals and letters at 10months, 's', 'm', '6' and '2' Starting walking (running) then as well and has never stopped. His language development is not as advanced as the girls' was, however he says a lot and very loudly, but it is not always clear. He understands everything I say to him. He counts to twenty (he calls tenten) and loves seeing, reading and playing around with numbers. Physically, I swear he is nearly running faster than me, loves balancing, climbing, accurate ball skills, jumps with 2 feet, gallops to slow himself down. Has no fear. Melatonin in tiny doses (unprescribed - scored off another parent) has helped with his sleeping. I'm praying he becomes like his sister, needs an hour of reading, then sleeps like a log (not even smoke alarms in the same room will wake her)
Am at Playcentre with him - which is fantastic at the moment. Not sure what the future will hold?